what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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