There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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