so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize