We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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