Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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