Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize