now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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