I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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