I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize