So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize