Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize