Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize