we're chasing vodka with high fives
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize