I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
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I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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