I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize