i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize