I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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