he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize