I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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