You work out of a Hotel?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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