Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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