I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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