I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
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by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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