Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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