Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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