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I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
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