we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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