Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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