i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize