Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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