I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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