Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize