I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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