Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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