I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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