I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize