I have demons in me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
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I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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