I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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