so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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