idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize