He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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