So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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