you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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