You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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