Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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