you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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