Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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