the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize