My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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