im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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